boxers, legs, & toes... who knows?

Well, even with that pithy little title - this blog entry is meant to be far from cute and pithy as it actually refelcts the wrestling I've been having with this issue.... ugh.

Let me begin by saying - I serve at a church where youth are loved and valued. They are. When I visited the church a group of kids took up the offering - and I was so blessed an encouraged by their leadership role in the service...

A friend of mine has told me this great story about how at her old church the leaders used to get all upset about the way the youth dressed, and that if they didn't watch it - one day there would be girls in paisley miniskirts! OH NO! So the first time my friend and her family came to our church, some youth were taking up the offering, and TOTALLY HONEST, one of the girls had a plaid mini-skirt on!! Ha ha ha. My friend knew this is the church she wanted her family to be a part of... they joined and have been here ever since..... Hooray! (a side note - that girl in the paisely miniskirt turned out to be one of the greatest youth ministry volunteers our church has ever been served by.)

So - a few weeks back I was in my office totally stressed and crunching to get Youth Sunday polished... when a person asked to come in & talk. Talk? Sure. Come on in.

This person - and we shall say it's a man, (but you will never know if it actually was a man or a woman), He wanted to talk to me about the manner of dress of the youth. He noticed they take up the offering - and while that's really cool, perhaps they should dress more respectfully. I was really surprised THIS person was coming in to talk to me about THIS.... so honestly, what he said and what I heard were not the same conversation until I replayed for the 29th time in my head.

I heard - short skirt, flip flops, shorts... and for some reason immediatly concluded that we were having a discussion about modesty of my female students. And normally, I don't think a social commentary out in my head on the clothes my girls wear.... but that particular Sunday I remember paying attention and being proud of their modesty - HA HA HA!

But like I said, played it over 29 + times in my head...

The rest of what he said was "He has impressionable young kids, and the whole family really likes it at our church," "The sanctuary is a big deal... It's where we gather to worship and it's the House of God," "Leadership is called to a higher standard."

Now these are all things I think that I believe... And you must keep in mind - the big drama/sketch I was polishing for Youth Sunday pertained to people auditioning for God... and closed with Jesus doing a monologue to the effect of "You judge by human standards, not by right standards." & I had been typing this out on cue cards....Hmmmm.

My immediate response... "Hey guys, let's just NOT wear flip flops Sunday, please!!! Thanks."

Now my elapsed (?for lack of a better word?!?) response was a little more like this...
I get modesty. And I get that if clothes are distracting people from being able to worship or concentrate on the Message - Dude, we should address that. (In W.O. - we did 1 Tim 2 a few weeks back and Paul was telling Timothy to admonish the women b/c they were weaving gold into their hair and dressing to capture the attention of men other than their husbands.... interesting correlation)

The Sanctuary is a special place.... the House of God. Alright, I think I used to whole heartedly buy into that... and I'm not saying it isn't true... but I am saying I could be part of the youth maybe not buying into it. Is God any less with me when I'm at the mall, or in school, or in my apartment, or at my friend's house?? I sure hope not. And I certainly don't teach that. I would MUCH RATHER know that my kids act and dress and speak in a God honoring fashion EVERYWHERE they go than for them to think the Sanctuary of our church is the only place that it's necessary. I want my girls to dress modestly b/c they ARE modest - b/c they are daughters of the KING OF KINGS, and their bodies are temples... beautiful temples that they intend to share with only one man - their husbands-to-be. I want my youth to be aware of the the presence of God in ALL of creation in EVERY situation. IT'S A L L GOD'S.

Flip flops and shorts are disrespectful. Are they? Is God repulsed and offended by toes and calf muscles? Does navy nail polish on your toes or the quiet "flip, flop, flip, flop, flip, flop" noise coming down the aisle disappoint the Father? Does he look down at knit shirts and shorts when it's hot outside and shake his head in disapproval?

I went to a church while I was in college where it appeared to be more of a fashion show than a worship service. People would prance down the center aisle to their regular pew with their families in matching outfits... the wife with her extravagant hat with the matching shoes and purse in a color that could only be worn with THAT outfit. It was kind of repulsive. It was certainly distracting. And well, it felt like the entire church was distracted - or at least focusing on something other than God. I didn't stay at that church real long.

I also worked at Camp Arrowhead for 9 years - an Episcopalian residential summer camp in DE. We had rules about open toed shoes - Not while you're working or outside of the shower house. I mean, it's easier to trip over roots in the woods or sustain dumb injuries from sticks and dropping stuff; it makes keeping your feet clean near impossible; you certainly can't run in them if there's an emergency; and things like peeing in the woods, tending fires, and pouring boiling water out of you spaghetti pots are just plain silly in flip flops...... SO - the one time we were allowed to wear open toed shoes was for Eucharist services - (the only time we really dress up at camp). Sure, there were lots of girls that wore skirts and dresses into the Chapel on those nights - but the guys almost always wore shorts. It's hot and humid in DE in the summer and the little fans in our outdoor chapel - shew - they don't do much but catch up some of the gnats in their "breeze". And depsite flip flops, shorts, and dusty toes from the walk across camp - we were a good looking bunch. We were dressed in reverence and respect and came together to worship our Creator. Perhaps you had to see us the day before covered in marsh mud, or with soot marks on our face and the lingering scent of camp fire and sweat on us from cooking over an open fire to really appreiciate how nice we looked. But maybe you don't.

I get that shower shoes are usually flip flops or those slide sandals... but not all flip flops and slide sandals are shower shoes. So they aren't one in the same - and that doesn't seem very hard to understand. Of course no one would wear their locker room or summer camp shower shoes to Church. I mean, they're young not stupid.

So, I promise I'm coming to a close. Not one person had anything to say about the girls' attire worn on Youth Sunday. I did hear a small group ALL mention the red plaid boxers of one male student that apparently EVERYONE got to see.... I must have missed it.

We're reading Mike Yaconelli's Messy Spirituality in the small group I lead at church... and Mike tells this story about a youth leader bringing gang members off the streets and somehow effecting their lives - teaching them true discipleship. A flailing arm in a genuinely surprised reaction broke a window and the youth were asked to no longer meet in that room. The youth leader got these gang members to attend a service one Sunday... and had them all sit with her in the balcony as not to cause more problems. One gang member, in much awe and respect, shouted out, "Dude, you're cool!," to the Pastor.... The youth leader was told she needed to teach them how to act inside a church. The gang members were not invited back - and the Youth Leader was ultimitly let go.

Yaconelli compares it to the Pharisees when the blindman is healed by mud made with Jesus' spit. The Pharisess aren't concerned with the blind man - they debate semantics. Jesus was concerned with the man that was once blind - and that's why He healed the man. (John 9)

So I have a new response for the next time ANYONE has anything to say to me about anything any of my kids are wearing - skirts, flip flops, or plaid boxers..... ready for this? It's really nice you noticed that they were in Church last week. If you had to choose, would you say you're you more concerned about their heart and presence here or about their fashion?

Yeah, I'm pretty certain that's exactly what I'll say. Cause finally, I think I've figured out what Jesus would do.