sigh. the virgin movie, version 2.0

This is the abridged version of a previous entry - shortened as not to appear in google searches of what other people might be looking up. I just don't want to deal with anymore not nice anonymous comments from people obviously not in my youth ministry or the Youth Ministry Web Ring.

Short version:
I kind of hate to give this movie more attention. But I felt I needed to see what the heck everyone was talking about. NOT THAT MUCH. I mean for real, it wasn't that funny.

There are a lot of us in the world, and particularly in my line of work, waiting until we get married. I was concerned about what this movie might have to say. The main character, Andy, has kept up with a lot of childhood hobbies in lieu of becoming sexually active... And the movie starts with him being slightly freakish and ends with him becoming more and more normal as his friends from work all deal with the consequences of their choices and sexual behaviors. See, for Andy, it just never happened. He got older and more nervous and more wierded out and it just never happened. Andy appears to not have made this a choice in his lifestyle... but some people CHOOSE to wait... that's all I was trying to say.

Andy only decides to make his confession after he has totally freaked out his girlfriend and ends up in a bike accident in the middle of the highway. He comes to this epiphany that he's always thought maybe something was wrong with him... and now he realizes he was just waiting for her. Then, surprisingly to me, they still don't sleep together until they get married. I thought it was an interesting choice and even a quasi-redemption for having sat through the rest of this really long movie littered with foul language.

So then I included a few links that I'll still put in this entry...

Pam Stenzel

xxxchurch.com

Lakita Garth

And I will still encourage anyone to read and think about the questions posed regarding the film here. This particular reviewer raises some great points.

I saw this film and composed the original version of this blog in the wake of two Christian friends getting married right before Christmas. It was beautiful. Something about that kind of wedding just makes the world seem not so crazy. For a few hours you get to see what it's supposed to be like, and it gives you hope.

Happy Holidays??!!??

I was in the car with my 'rents on the way to Grandma's house when my StepDad got on a rant. And he had this crazy idea that if people want/have to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas - as not to offend anyone - then everyone who doesn't believe in Jesus should have to work on Christmas Day b/c they don't have anything to celebrate. Why should they be off and every store be closed? Trust me, that was the abridged version. So then today I was blog scrolling and found this... HA HA HA.

For My Conservative Friends:
Here's wishing all of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

ANDFor My Liberal Friends:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform a

Changed for Good

Okay, so maybe you don't know the song from "Wicked." The show is coming to Pittsburgh in a month, I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to see it or not...but I would love it if I got the chance. Basically, it's the story of the Wicked Witch before Dorothy and her house land on top of her. She and Glenda (the good witch) were roommates at Wizardry School - they were even friends. And at one point they sing -

"Who can say
if I've been Changed for the better? ...
because I knew you......
I have been changed for good."

I've been coming back to this soundtrack over and over... it's really good music and a great story about how things are not always black and white when it comes to who is good and who is bad, especially since Elphaba (the "wicked" witch) is actually green - ha ha.

But yeah, so my kids introduced me to the music and I've been listening and relistening and chewing on this idea - that we don't always change people or get changed by people for the better - but each person that does come into and shares in our lives changes us indefinitly.

I'm staying with my parents for Christmas - and I have to wait for my car to get out of the shop to go back home to Pittsburgh tomorrow... and I decided to check out the Youth Ministry WebRing.... just browse around and read some other folks thoughts.... and I found this blog entry.

And of course it got me to thinking. I got me to thinking about a girl from the summer camp I used to work with. Actually, she was my friend's camper, then she was my camper, then she was an assistant counselor when I was on administrative staff a gillion years later... Point being, I watched her grow up. She totally changed friends towards the end of her high school years, and ended up being in the worst possible place at the worst possible time. She leaned forward at a party and took a bullet intended for someone else. It was tragic. It was hard. And oddly enough, I was just talking about it with a friend before Christmas.

So today I was reading this guy's blog... and he's talking about losing a student and trying to figure out how she got away from their ministry. Did she reject them or did they not persue her hard enough? Was the invitation clear and she said no thanks? Or was the invitation cloudy and she passed because it didn't make sense? Was it her or them? There is SO much that we will never know.

BUT the writer mentions an opportunity he had to speak with her and hear about her life two weeks before her death. What a blessing. She may not have been around the Youth Group for a while - but she still took the time to talk with him about her life. She could have pretended not to see him and walked on by... I certainly have kids that do that to me when I'm at the high school. But she didn't do that. She stopped and chatted. And I have had kids do that with me as well. Do I miss them in the ministry setting of our Youth Group Meetings or Sunday School class? Of course! But I'm still joyful that to see them outside of our church walls. And I'm always blessed by their hugs and short anecdotes of where life has them these days. There are kids that don't ever become what we wanted them to be - but it doesn't mean we didn't have any impact on their lives at all. We can change them for good without changing them for the "better." That's the whole thing with tending the garden. We can do great things and still witness no growth... growth is not our job. Tending and Caring for is.

In the middle of all we know about how her life changed - we can not know about her relationship with God. We don't know the desires and cries of her heart. We don't know the conversations she had with God when she lay in bed at night. We don't know about those last few moments of life and what was clear to her in those moments. We don't know what she absorbed and beleived to be true from her time in the Youth Ministry. We have no idea what she clung to from her one on one times with different adults in the ministry either. That can make us sad or angry. Or it can give us hope because we know that God is bigger and more full of grace and mercy than we could ever imagine.

There is a lot I don't know about my camper. And I was sad. And I was hopeful. And I was angry for a bit because I asked God for a specific sign and he did not answer me. Much like the writer of that blog.

In time I truly came to believe that God did not answer me on purpose. Of course - it is God after all, and I think he does everything for a reason. I know there are times he says yes, and times he says no, and times he wants us to wait. And usually when I think he didn't answer at all - He did answer, just not on my terms or the way I was expecting. But perhaps, when it comes to people passing away there are things we need to not know. There are questions we must not have answered as not to get to cocky with where we are or arrogant in our knowledge. We need to be reminded that He is God and we are not. He is the sustainer of life and we are just instruments of His peace.

That off my chest, I need to make some calls about my car. And I need to get to Old Navy before they sell clear out of all those great PJ pants.

Peace Y'all.
I hope you had a Merry Christmas.

dance, white boy, dance

This is better than the Chinese Backstreet Boys everyone keeps telling me are so hilarious. Okay - they did make me chuckle. But this guy made me giggle. Silly Air Force Academy boy.

Trust me. And go right here.

Narnia

Very very short.

Ok, ok, so I never read the Narnia books, but I've been reading a lot about the Narnia books recently. I was sent an invite to see a sneak peek - aka drive an hour to see the trailor. (GRR) And then I was sent an invitation to see the movie for free with a local group of youth workers. I'm thinking, Alright. I'll go for free. It might even make up for that hour drive. Maybe.

For a free movie - IT ROCKED. Sure, there were a few parts where I thought, man, they could have done that a little better. BUT... I was startled a few times, I flinched more than once, I was actually mesmorized by some of the special effects, and I didn't cry but I think I mustered a few tears (not too hard for me).

So, yeah, it's at least worth the price of a matinee ticket... check it out. I'll wait til later to talk about all the Jesus correlations. I don't want to ruin the story for anyone unfamiliar.

Countdown

~ not only did I figure it out,
but i figured out how to customize them too...
oh yeah!

Witch is in the Title

This was my December Church Newsletter article written in mid-November...

From the Christian Education Office

I am certain by now that you've seen the ads for the new Harry Potter movie and for The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Knowing full well that both would hit the theatres very soon - I wanted to share some thoughts, readings, and converstions on the topic.

Scripture tells us clearly to have NOTHING to do with magic - and yet so many of us will see both films. "But the Chronicles of Narnia are written by C.S. Lewis!" "But Harry Potter doesn't cast real spells." "Witches aren't real." Well, I went to a sneak peek of the Narnia film and the question arose, "If Christians are making such a fuss about Harry Potter, how can we endorse a film that clearly has the word Witch in the title?" hmmmm. Even Lord of the Rings (also written by a Christian) has magic and wizards and spells in it. So what is the difference? Well, I did a lot of reading on the subject.

One of the more convincing articles I found suggests that while both series (Potter and Narnia) are about British children encountering fantasy worlds, with admirable characters and good fighting evil, one writer believes the "difference between the two hinges on the concept of authority. From a Christian perspective, authority and supernatural power are linked." In Harry Potter magical power is inherited or learned. There is no higher power but there are equal antagonistic and unaccountable wizards (Dumbledore and Voldemort). This idea sort of divorces power from authority. In Narnia, Aslan the Lion is the creator and ruler or Narinia. Good powers are bestowed in accordance to his will and evil power is seized or conjured and used selfishly.

I honestly don't think it's even a fair comparison. Tolkein and Lewis knew what they were doing when they each wrote their series. They were both Christians. They would meet together and talk about the imagery and the allegories they were writing. J.K. Rowling wasn't trying to allude to the Bible. She wasn't making any attempt to lead people to Christ or teach them about God. She wrote a children's fantasy. That doesn't excuse her for intriguing kids with the idea of witchcraft - but that wasn't her point either; Her intention was not that kids would read about Harry and seriously consider the religion of Wicca.

There's this story in Acts where Paul is preaching in Greece and refers to their idol to the unknown god. He uses that idol to tell them He knows who that God is and introduces them to Christ. He quotes some of their very own pagan poets to get his message across. I love that story. Paul was being a cross cultural missionary. What if we could find ways to use Harry Potter to convey Biblical messages and even Jesus?

I was hugely challenged with 2 questions almost a year ago. If something isn't bearing a "Christian" label does that make it untrue? And if something is bearing a "Christian" label does that make it true? We can tell our kids to run from Harry Potter and hide their eyes. (Not that they would, but we could.) OR perhaps we can teach them to see bits of truth in something that was never intended to glorify God. Maybe Harry Potter is a springboard for discussion. It can certainly start discussions about witchcraft. But it can start discussion about discerning good and evil, or discussions about fears, or desires, or belonging, or being called to something amazing but not knowing our destiny just yet. And maybe, just maybe, if we are equipped ourselves, those discussions can lead us to the Word. THE Truth.

I know that witchcraft is real. I do. And I know it's bad. But I'm still probably going to watch the Wizard of Oz the next time it's on. And I really want to see Wicked when the show comes to town. And as long as I know people are reading and watching Harry Potter - I'll probably be keeping abreast of the situation. Will you?

Have a very Merry CHRISTmas!

wallet photos

So I really did start a few posts between this one and my last... I just didn't finish any of my thoughts.

This will be super short. SUPER DE DUPER SHORT.

So a couple kids from my church and Campus Life have given me school pix - and I have put each of them in my wallet as not to lose them until I make room on the bulletin board in my office for them...

Tonight I was at dinner with some friends - looking for a scrap piece of paper when one photo fell out and then I noticed one student had written something on the back of theirs... "Teri, What to say! I <3 you! You are an awesome person and one of my best friends."

Yeah, I know it was basic back-of-picture-rhetoric when I was in school... but I'm not in school. And it just struck me. And I started crying at the table... go figure.

It's funny how sometimes you're not sure what you mean to who... and then random things happen like a photo falling out of your wallet... and then you know exactly who you are to someone.

That's just what I was thinking about while i was driving home. That and my brother. Keith Urban was on the radio - and he kinda has hair like my brother.... ha.

The Future Glory of Zion

Saying this may be HUGE steps back for women in ministry, but here goes...

For whatever reason... Lately I've been haunted by the words of some woman in some class I taught. I can't even see her face - so I really don't know who said it to me... But in the middle of some teaching she cut me off very shortly with a quick, "You don't, understand because you don't have a family." or was it know? Alright something like that - ha ha ha.


As if to say I couldn't teach any farther or teach her in particular because I just didn't have the wisdom or experience, at all. As if one lack in my journey thus far TOTALLY discredits my ability or authority to teach.

I had almost forgotten the entire moment. . . and then recently it began to haunt me. I just kept hearing it in the back of my mind... not a literal voice... but, well, you know. What the heck?!

Isaiah 54 reads....
The Future Glory of Zion
1 "Sing, O barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,"
says the LORD.
2 "Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes. . .
. . . Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
5 For your Maker is your husband
the LORD Almighty is his name
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

Yeah, we read that at Campus Life Student Leadership a few weeks back... and I was like WOAH. Yeah, I know there can be some dangers taking Scripture out of context - and this is about Zion .... but on some level it spoke to me.

I don't have a husband. But I have been pretty married to my job - which is QUITE different than thinking of my Maker as my husband - but they are connected.

And I don't have a child - but I have like 40 kids. So yeah. I will not fear disgrace. And I will not be humiliated. I will open our doors for more kids to come in the Youth Ministry.

And I will also remember that no matter how "great" some people might think I am - it's only because of He who is in me and who he made me to be and totally because He redeemed me.

lost?

4 8 15 16 23 42

You either

a) know what I'm talking about, and already have your VCR/Tivo set
to record ABC tonight at 9pm EST,

OR

b) you have no idea what I'm talking about, and need to watch ABC
tonight at 8pm EST to join the fun

I was reading the blog of the drummer in a band I like, and cliked a link to another blog and found that message and thought it was AWESOME.

But for real, like I told one of the kids I work with - I think they sprinkled the show with some of Charlie's drugs - b/c I am addicted.

peace out y'all

questions...

This is the latest article I submitted for our church newsletter.....

Last week I got a call from a college student in total distress because her upbringing in the Church had not prepared her to defend her faith or to never waver while standing upon the rock of Christ. Her church taught her the Bible was true; it is the Word of God. They taught her Evolution was wrong and that the Bible holds the story of creation. And she believed it. Then she got slammed in more than one class in the same day. It wasn’t like people ganged up on her in lecture, or like anyone even said, "You’re wrong." It was more like her professors and textbooks spoke quite matter-of-factly and never even acknowledged there might be another perspective. She went to class and read for class and thought, "hmmm, that sounds pretty believable." Then she had to reconcile the two in her mind. If her professors were right, was her upbringing wrong? If her textbooks were true, did she not really believe in God after all? She was heart broken. She thought she was failing. She thought she was letting everyone down, especially God.

I was listening to a seminar about preparing youth to go off to college. And Chuck Bomar talks about how we’ve become really good at telling our kids things. We’ve gotten to be great at behavior management and making sure our kids have consciences. HOWEVER – conscience does not equate with faith. The kids in our youth group know all the things their parents and teachers and coaches and I hope that they won’t do. But do they know why? For example, Chuck talks about growing up and being told not to put his elbows on the table. Why? Because it’s rude. Ok, no elbows on the table. So as an adult, if he is out with someone – he will not put his elbows on the table unless the person he is with does it first because to that other person – it MIGHT be rude. His Mom told him. He can still hear her voice. He doesn’t think that it’s rude… and yet it is still with him and he still acts on it.

Chuck goes on to talk about how we hand our kids all this information – we teach it to them as fact and truth. THEN they go to college, and they don’t have Mom and Dad, or Mr. Pierson, or Coach Metheny, or Teri to answer to when they come back from a date. Things get hot and heavy and they might want to wait for marriage to have sex, but they want to know how far is too far? Well, chances are they know they think they want to wait – but they have NO IDEA why they are waiting, or they wouldn’t be asking anyone else how far is too far. See – their behavior has been successfully managed - but the faith issue of how sex before marriage might effect their relationship with God was never established. Our kids go off to school and find themselves surrounded by piles upon piles of NEW information – and for the first time they are being forced to think through it all FOR THEMSELVES. They have to decide what they think about the stuff we told them, AND all the stuff they’re hearing now.

Chuck gives a great parable. If you sit on a tack you don’t go to the doctor to get painkillers so the tack won’t hurt. You pull out the tack and toss it. Apparently, 68% of the kids we think are Christian when we send them to college pull the church out of their backsides – and don’t come back. SIXTY EIGHT PERCENT. That breaks my heart. But I don’t think this is just an issue concerning our college kids. I mean, we were all that age once. Have you and I finished examining all the things we were told? Have we even started? And what about the kids? I mean, we promise to help raise every child we baptize. Are we handing them answers or are we helping them discover their relationship and what they think about God?

I think need to praise God that my student is wrestling with him and pray she comes out knowing exactly who she is to him. And I’ll make sure to be there to help her ask more questions. The rest of this was just something to chew on…

Just breathe.

"...'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands And breathe... just breathe, ...... There's a light at each end of this tunnel, You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around." ~ Anna Nalik

Yeah, so I realize that song's not exactly new.... but neither is the whole idea I'm about to share... lol.

Last May, I downloaded this sermon from Mars Hill Bible Chapel about the Theology of breathing. It grabbed me so quickly that I saved it on my computer and have been coming back to it a lot. This summer I used it to help lead devos at workcamp one night... I had a panic attack this summer, and ended up puking b/c I couldn't breathe... At a training last month we talked about keeping centered as not to get the wind knocked out of us... So when may Pastor asked me 2 weeks ago if God had been speaking to me about anything I'd want to share at the service today - I was thinking, yes. Yes he has.

The short of the long of it... Genesis gives us 2 accounts for how we got here. Genesis 1 is a poem with a rhythm to it... it was good... it was good... it was good. Genesis 2 is more of a narrative story (guess that's redundant - ha ha) . And it tells us that on the 7th day, God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. (one of the coolest things in the Bible EVER!!) A paradox was understood at the very core of what it is to be human. We are of dirt... easy-to-crumble creatures.... and yet we are filled with the very breath of GOD. We are SO fragile, and yet there is something so holy about the very act of breathing.

The word for breath - ruach in Hebrew and pneuma in Greek is used like 380 times each respectively in the Old and New Testaments!! However the same word(s) were used for Spirit. It was like "S"part and "s"spirit... and it was a common belief that God dwelled within people . And it was understood that not only was breath important for life - but also that a connection with God was important to have any sort of life at all... the people that believed this and that God dwelled withtin them came to be referred to as temples (your body is a temple.... sound familiar?)

Rob Bell goes on to talk about how much we breathe, and how we tend to take the super shallow breaths while we run around to keep up with the fast pace of life. The human body can take 4-6 breaths per minute - but we tend to take in 16-20??!! That's nuts. So at 16 breaths per minute, 60 minutes per hour, 24 hours in a day - that's 26,000 times each day we should be reminded that God is in us. And if he is that close, if we need him for every breath, if every breath comes from Him and is of Him... there seems to be a HUGE problem when people say things like, "I don't need God to live." So Rob encourages his congregation to breathe out all the crap that is in their lives weighing them down and stressing them out - and breathing in more of God. Breathing in His truth, mercy, grace, beauty - whatever we need to get through our day.

Super cool.

SOoooo... yeah, that's pretty much what I knew I was going to share... and as soon as I listened to his message one more time and typed out my notes I had this HUGE peace about it and felt no immediate pressure to rehearse it or anything... and all sorts of things started hitting the fan. It was like test after test to see if I really believed in what I was about to share.

Monday a student calls - totally freaking out - crying even - because she can't reconcile the evolution stuff in her textbook with the Genesis story of creation - and her Biology book is really persuasive. I'm thinking - just breathe. Calm down and just breathe. So we look at Genesis - and hey - i was just here for my sermon notes. hmmm.

Tuesday, I haven't been able to finish working out the fall/winter/spring calendar for Confirmation Class that is begining in a month... and there I am holding a summer calendar in hand not able to fathom what week to run Vacation Bible School or go to workcamp. DUDE - we're talking 9 months away. Just breathe.

Wednesday a fellow youth worker gets on AIM - they've been wounded and betrayed by students they love. They were heart broken. We talk and calm down... and just breathe. I remind my friend that there is a lot of stuff we will never comprehend or control. We can't control the way people feel about us or things they might say about who we are - but we can control who we are and what we do. We can control how we will respond to those people. We can decide if anger will get the best of us. We can control who has the power to make angry.

Thursday a student I'm pretty close to in my ministry gets some old battle wounds dredged up... and while the "scar" might appear healed - it still weeps a little when it's picked at. And it sucks to watch the student hurt and not be able to do anything about it.

Friday nothing goes as planned. I'm supposed to meet some MLB players at a meeting. They had a rainout and now a double header - and can't make the meeting. I sigh, but it's okay. An away high school football game gets postponed for inclement weather - and we drove an hour to be there. I don't get the hangout time with people from my church - or to finally see my kids on the team or in the band. grrr. BUT - I breathe and laugh a little - and it's okay.

Saturday at the rescheduled game I can't attend from the night prior - a student gets injured and rushed to the hospital. Turns out he's alright - just some bruised ribs. But geez - that's scary. And I'm worried... but I breathe out deeply and know that he is in God's care. And all day I am SO TIRED I just can't concentrate on anything - too bad I was supposed to be working on my sermon, studying the lesson for Sunday School, AND figuring out Youth Group....


Crazy week, eh?

The coolest part was - as it appears I was passing. I think recognizing you're even being tested is a huge part of the success... but yeah, as it appears that I'm passing... I get a random call in the office Friday afternoon. I'm expecting and semi important call - and the Church Secretary believes that this might be my call pretending to be someone else... ha ha ha. I have NO CLUE who it is when I pick up.

It ends up being a friend from college that I haven't seen or spoken to in FOUR or FIVE years! The last time I saw him was at his Coast Guard graduation ceremony - and then once he graduated I didn't have his new address and lost all contact. BUT I had written him all through his training in Cape May.

He's been teaching up in his hometown in Massachusetts - and going to this church. He knew he was ready t get more serious about his faith - but didn't really understand where to even begin. August 11th - he accepts Christ and gets saved. WOW! Last week he finds all the letters I wrote him while he was in Basic Training... all the God stuff I wrote to encourage him, and he decides he needs to tell me about what God's done in his life.

He google searches me and finds my church's website and calls me in the office??!!!

crazy short side note: August 11th I was driving back to Delaware to visit my old camp in Lewes - where the Cape May - Lewes Ferry is. And of course when I saw the signs he came to mind. I wondered where he was and what he was up to. God is so funny like that. So funny.

God is so good. He picks us up with the smallest of things when He knows we need it. And He is SO faithful to answer our prayers and to bless our faithfulness to him.

Back to Anna's song... we're not promised a certain number of days or breaths... but God already knows. The idea is to keep breathing out the crap and breathing in more of Him... and when we realize there's something wrong that we keep repeating - to breathe that out to Him too, and ask him to breathe into us the strength to turn - to change - to stop - to eliminate the need for that behavior. He is all the we have that we can count on while we're here. He's all we can count on for our very breath - all we can count on to be with us. He's as close as my next breath. He gave me my first, and he certainly already knows about my last. But while I'm still here - I want to be about the business of breathing out everything that keeps me from Him, and breathing in more of who He is.

And now, I'll take a d e e p s i g h.

Our God is Faithful

I'm back from all my trips for work right now.... But hoping to disappear back home in like 2 more weeks. We'll see how that flies later...

Anywho, You know how it's really easy to see stuff when you're outside of a situation.... and incredibly harder when you're smack dab in the middle....And that's why it's such a great idea to ask people with a better perspective for advice? Yeah. That's what I've been thinking about.

I KNOW that God is faithful. And I know He's faithful to me. But, sometimes it's a lot easier for me to see His faithfulness in/to/towards the youth I work with. And in seeing His faithfulness to them, I comprehend his faithfulness to me a little more. I need to work on my articulation.

For example.... There's this cheesy slogan that basically says, God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to let you stay that way. I believe that God is FAITHFUL regarding our sanctification (becoming more like Christ). Of course it goes a lot smoother when we're in obedience and right relationship.... But this is what I've been learning from my kids the last few weeks away.

We gain more and more head knowledge about who Jesus is and are eventually presented with a choice.... Was he crazy? Was he a liar? Or Is he THE CHRIST, your personal Savior and atonement for sin? So, (best case scenario), You choose Christ. You say the special prayer - he comes into your heart.... TAHDAH. A cookie cutter Christian.

Then you go home from camp or the beach or any other mountaintop experience with the Lord. And there you are in the middle of everything you used to be. Or you find that all your friends are changing, or maybe they changed while you were gone.... And you have to make some more choices. Will I go back to doing this? Will I start doing this? (these choices can of course can be good or bad)

And there's lots of fumbles, stumbles, and ditch digging along the way.

Then you find yourself back at that camp, or conference center, or retreat.... and you remember the choice you made to follow Christ. And you remember all the ways you didn't follow Him.... BUT you are closer than last time. Somewhere in the middle of falling short - you still grew. God still changed you and made you a little more like His Son.

How cool is that?

MONTHS AGO.... I saw Bethany Dillon perform for the first time. And I had known she was young.... but didn't realize that she was just about to turn 16 at the time. She was telling the story of her song "Exodus." And she was like, "I mean, I wasn't a slave in Egypt, but there are still things in my life that I'm a slave to, and God ransoms me and sets me free. I'm really young, but I've got my own Exoduses happening." And I was so moved by her spiritual maturity and the way she carried herself.... And she totally could be any young man or woman in my youth group. This is what she sang to us... and it's been ringing in my head for days now.

Reflect, reflect on all your days

You weren't so free then

Once you were all called slaves

But now, blessed children

Move, move your feet

Dance before the Lord

On to the Promised Land

On to your reward, sing

Lead, Lord, with unfailing love

Those that You have ransomed

And we will sing out as we go on

Our God is faithful

Our God is faithful

My youth at Workcamp in WV. Aren't they just too cute?

The morning fog rolling out

Finally...

So I haven't been around much - and I certainly haven't posted much.... BUT, I just got back from one camp last night and I leave for another tomorrow morning..... so I thought I'd post some pix. MAYBE, I'll even get the initiative to post some pix from Crestfield today too (the camp I was at 3 weeks ago.) We'll see.

If the Son has set you free, You are Free indeed

Where we from? And keep it real! Metro Pitt, from the town of STEEL!

Who Am I ?

A promise is a promise.

Greatest fear

For the fifth time in the last month I was reminded today of a poem Nelson Mandela read in his inauguration speech....

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine,

we consciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

I mean, I'm familiar with it - we used to put it in the counselor books at Camp Arrowhead.... But five times in a month? Come on!

First it's quoted in Mike Yaconelli's Messy Spirituality that we're reading in small group at church. Then I saw it in the AIM profile of a kid from workcamp. Then my friend Fran, from camp, sent me a link to a sermon she gave at her church and of course it was in there. Someone was reading it on tv last night when I couldn't fall asleep. Then I heard it today in Rob Bell's sermon from 5/29 that I downloaded (from Mars Hill Bible Church). Shew. I remembered all of them!

In small group we talked about if we believe it... Well, the fear part. Obviously no one in my small group at church is going to be like, "We're not all children of God." ha ha. So, umm, I've been thinking about it...

A few weeks back at Campus Life Student Leadership my friend Chris was talking about imitation. A lot of times people say imitation is the highest form of flattery... but Christ was saying that imitation is one of the highest forms of responsibility. Well, more like it should be. I mean, I'm sure when Madonna wore that hideous bow on her head and the ugly lace dress she probably wasn't thinking much about billions of little girls emulating her.... I'm sure that most of pop culture doesn't. But Chris and I are in a really different line of work.

When you're in ministry you call out for people to follow you - to do like you do. I mean that's how Jesus called all of his Disciples - Come, Follow Me. And scripture tells us things like, "Live a life worthy of the calling." "Be an example in word, in deed, in love, in faith, and in purity." We're supposed to be living our lives so that people will see something in us and follow us until they realize we're just following Christ and they can too.

So yeah, maybe I didn't realize it before, but when people I work with start imitating me - it freaks me out. Not like Single White Female - well, maybe a little like that.... but more like, was that the most important thing I could have impressed upon them? Usually it's not. So sometimes, when I think about the idea of people emulating me, doing what I do.... maybe it is a little bit of a fear.... fear that I will influence them instead making sure it's of the Holy One IN me that influences them.

I always used to remind myself that as much as kids I work with think they love me - I'm just not that cool. It's Jesus they see in me - That's what they're attracted to. And that's REALLY different! I guess it's a matter of knowing it's NOT about me... without Him I am nothing. It might look like shrinking... but it's more like refocusing the spot light. Most of our lives we want the big bright light on us... you know where the tight circle shows up on the curtain behind you while you have your big number on the stage..... and you're totally free to go just a little right or left and fade into the shadows to do those things you'd less proudly display about yourselves.....

But when we refocus the light... maybe it's more about recognizing the source of the light and that we're just reflecting it. I think that recognizing that fact could liberate others.

It's like we're all moons.... big dirt balls floating along.... and we shine b/c the sun, (or is it The Son?), shines on us. Problem is... a lot of people walk around thinking they are the stars - that they shine, that the universe revolves around them. (this is working on so many levels!!) It's just not true. Scripture tells us, "The truth will set you free...," and I can't think of anything more liberating than that :0)


You were born to make manifest the glory of God within you... you shine... not because of who you are, but because of what HE's done.

A little lightweight before I get heavy...

Alright. So I'm driving home from Maryland, a day later than I meant to be, mind you... so my head is already spinning. I'm flipping through the crappy radio options when a talk show catches my attention. Why? I have no idea. But I checked in for a little bit. Found myself disturbed - and then looked up the news article I included below.... (I shortened it for space's sake)

Sunday, May 8, 2005 - Page updated at 01:03 p.m.
Parents taking issue with forfeits when boys don't join girls on mat
By Linda Shaw - Seattle Times staff reporter


Girls who wrestled for several Puget Sound-area middle schools this year easily won their matches against boys from two private schools. The girls stepped onto the mat. Their opponents from Tacoma Baptist and Cascade Christian stayed in their seats. The referee then raised the girls' hands to signal they'd won by forfeit.

But the easy victories didn't sit well with the girls, including Meaghan Connors, a seventh-grader at McMurray Middle School on Vashon Island. Her father, Jerry, is prepared to go to court over what he considers a clear case of sex discrimination. For years, schools in the Rainier Valley League, including McMurray, have honored the ability of the two private schools to forfeit matches rather than have a boy wrestle one of the handful of girls on the public-school teams.

League President Dan Petersen said it was the same as honoring desires of other religious schools not to compete on certain days.
He noted that wrestling rules allow a forfeit for any reason...At Cascade Christian in Puyallup, Superintendent Don Johnson said the school "does not want to put our young men in a situation where they would be inappropriately touching a young lady."

Connors, however, believes the forfeit rule shouldn't be used to discriminate against girls, including his daughter, one of a half-dozen girls on teams in the league, drawn from schools in King, Pierce and Mason counties.

Connors, a former Episcopal president and one-time pastoral assistant for social justice at St. James Cathedral in Seattle, believes religion should play a role in public life. "But there's a limit," he said.

"If my religion says that once a year on a full moon, I had to get into a hit-and-run accident, I think the cops would take exception to that," he said. "That's an extreme example, but if you come into the public domain, you can't develop a policy that discriminates against people."

He's filed a complaint alleging the Vashon Island School District is violating Title IX, the federal law that prohibits sex discrimination in schools, by allowing the policies to exist. If the policies aren't changed, he says, he'll make a complaint to the Office of Civil Rights at the U.S. Department of Education and, if necessary, file a lawsuit...

...girls don't always get a warm welcome. Meaghan Connors and teammate Sylvie Shiosaki, 13, said they sometimes get taunted at matches, as do the boys who wrestle against them.

Nevertheless, girls' participation in wrestling is growing...What's happening now in the Rainier Valley League, however, is not as clear cut, Lees said. Wrestling rules allow for forfeits. Girls get the points for the win. Private schools don't have to adhere to Title IX.

Considering the message But Nancy Hogshead-Makar, legal adviser for the Women's Sports Foundation and a gold medalist in swimming at the 1984 Olympics, said the question is whether the WIAA, an organization that includes public and private schools, is a public entity... it can't allow policies that discriminate against girls, she said. Girls are harmed when they win by forfeit, she added, because they lose out on the experience gained in competition, which is at the heart of what sports is about. And it sends the message, she said, that there's something wrong with them.

"What if, for religious reasons, people said they were not going to wrestle African Americans, or wrestle people of different religions?" she asked. "When you put it in those terms, you can see how the person who is not able to compete is being harmed."
The Christian schools say little about the issue.

Meaghan Connors didn't have to endure any forfeits herself this year. As a seventh-grader, she wasn't McMurray's best wrestler in her weight class, so she wasn't on the varsity squad, the only one that officially competes at the middle-school level. Still, she came home upset when Shiosaki got forfeits. She told her father she felt degraded, like an "object of lust."

Shiosaki said three of her 11 matches this year were forfeits from boys at the two schools, significantly shortening her season. That's what concerns her mother, Lonnie, who's supporting Jerry Connors' efforts. The lack of experience handicaps the girls when they go to state tournaments or even the state's all-girls exhibition tournament, she said...

The WIAA has not been asked for its guidance, and for now, it's a league matter, Colbrese said. Still, he said, he's looking into it. To him, there are conflicts among the freedom of religion, the freedom from discrimination and the wrestling rule that allows forfeits. "I'm not sure where you come out with all those things mixed in," he said. Jerry Connors, however, maintains private schools should adhere by public rules when they're competing against public schools in public facilities. "My daughter's rights," he said, "are not going to be bargained away for any reason."

Linda Shaw: 206-464-2359 or lshaw@seattletimes.com
Copyright © 2005 The Seattle Times Company

My Thoughts...
1) I'm so glad this Conners guy works(ed?) for a church and doesn't get it. Was the really the best analogy he could make?? Somehow I don't think the two connect at all. "...Religion should play a role in public life. 'But there's a limit.'" Oh really? That's an interesting take.
2) You can't MAKE anyone do something they don't want to. And, when did respect, decency, and chivalry become not just dated but bad??!!
3) So the girl's record is tarnished with forfeits (not real wins). If a middle school boy beats a girl - he becomes the boy that beats up girls. And if a middle school boy loses to a girl - he becomes the boy that got beat up by a girl... Hmmm, less matches actually battled or a scarring reputation in the the identity formative years??
4) Do these people know what disrimination means?? The Christian Schools aren't fighting to take away the girls' rights to wrestle, they just don't want to put their boys in that awkward situation. They are teaching their boys how to carry themselves with a lady - and not even chancing the embarassment of a physiological reaction to mashing and writhing against a girl's body.
5) On the radio show some coach was saying how having girls on the boys wrestling team has made the boys shape up. The bad language is kept to a minimum. And the boys work harder because they "will not be shown up by the girls". That sounds beneficial and all... but a lot more problematic to me. If that's how they think they need to act in front of girls - then maybe they should be taught that's how they need to act in front of anyone. Be who you are everywhere you are boys.

I gotta say I'm disappointed. I'm all for equal opportunity - dude, I'm a girl. But, um, in an individual FULL contact sport - in Flippin' Middle School - if you want to be tough enough to participate - you gotta be tough enough to eat a forfeit.

boxers, legs, & toes... who knows?

Well, even with that pithy little title - this blog entry is meant to be far from cute and pithy as it actually refelcts the wrestling I've been having with this issue.... ugh.

Let me begin by saying - I serve at a church where youth are loved and valued. They are. When I visited the church a group of kids took up the offering - and I was so blessed an encouraged by their leadership role in the service...

A friend of mine has told me this great story about how at her old church the leaders used to get all upset about the way the youth dressed, and that if they didn't watch it - one day there would be girls in paisley miniskirts! OH NO! So the first time my friend and her family came to our church, some youth were taking up the offering, and TOTALLY HONEST, one of the girls had a plaid mini-skirt on!! Ha ha ha. My friend knew this is the church she wanted her family to be a part of... they joined and have been here ever since..... Hooray! (a side note - that girl in the paisely miniskirt turned out to be one of the greatest youth ministry volunteers our church has ever been served by.)

So - a few weeks back I was in my office totally stressed and crunching to get Youth Sunday polished... when a person asked to come in & talk. Talk? Sure. Come on in.

This person - and we shall say it's a man, (but you will never know if it actually was a man or a woman), He wanted to talk to me about the manner of dress of the youth. He noticed they take up the offering - and while that's really cool, perhaps they should dress more respectfully. I was really surprised THIS person was coming in to talk to me about THIS.... so honestly, what he said and what I heard were not the same conversation until I replayed for the 29th time in my head.

I heard - short skirt, flip flops, shorts... and for some reason immediatly concluded that we were having a discussion about modesty of my female students. And normally, I don't think a social commentary out in my head on the clothes my girls wear.... but that particular Sunday I remember paying attention and being proud of their modesty - HA HA HA!

But like I said, played it over 29 + times in my head...

The rest of what he said was "He has impressionable young kids, and the whole family really likes it at our church," "The sanctuary is a big deal... It's where we gather to worship and it's the House of God," "Leadership is called to a higher standard."

Now these are all things I think that I believe... And you must keep in mind - the big drama/sketch I was polishing for Youth Sunday pertained to people auditioning for God... and closed with Jesus doing a monologue to the effect of "You judge by human standards, not by right standards." & I had been typing this out on cue cards....Hmmmm.

My immediate response... "Hey guys, let's just NOT wear flip flops Sunday, please!!! Thanks."

Now my elapsed (?for lack of a better word?!?) response was a little more like this...
I get modesty. And I get that if clothes are distracting people from being able to worship or concentrate on the Message - Dude, we should address that. (In W.O. - we did 1 Tim 2 a few weeks back and Paul was telling Timothy to admonish the women b/c they were weaving gold into their hair and dressing to capture the attention of men other than their husbands.... interesting correlation)

The Sanctuary is a special place.... the House of God. Alright, I think I used to whole heartedly buy into that... and I'm not saying it isn't true... but I am saying I could be part of the youth maybe not buying into it. Is God any less with me when I'm at the mall, or in school, or in my apartment, or at my friend's house?? I sure hope not. And I certainly don't teach that. I would MUCH RATHER know that my kids act and dress and speak in a God honoring fashion EVERYWHERE they go than for them to think the Sanctuary of our church is the only place that it's necessary. I want my girls to dress modestly b/c they ARE modest - b/c they are daughters of the KING OF KINGS, and their bodies are temples... beautiful temples that they intend to share with only one man - their husbands-to-be. I want my youth to be aware of the the presence of God in ALL of creation in EVERY situation. IT'S A L L GOD'S.

Flip flops and shorts are disrespectful. Are they? Is God repulsed and offended by toes and calf muscles? Does navy nail polish on your toes or the quiet "flip, flop, flip, flop, flip, flop" noise coming down the aisle disappoint the Father? Does he look down at knit shirts and shorts when it's hot outside and shake his head in disapproval?

I went to a church while I was in college where it appeared to be more of a fashion show than a worship service. People would prance down the center aisle to their regular pew with their families in matching outfits... the wife with her extravagant hat with the matching shoes and purse in a color that could only be worn with THAT outfit. It was kind of repulsive. It was certainly distracting. And well, it felt like the entire church was distracted - or at least focusing on something other than God. I didn't stay at that church real long.

I also worked at Camp Arrowhead for 9 years - an Episcopalian residential summer camp in DE. We had rules about open toed shoes - Not while you're working or outside of the shower house. I mean, it's easier to trip over roots in the woods or sustain dumb injuries from sticks and dropping stuff; it makes keeping your feet clean near impossible; you certainly can't run in them if there's an emergency; and things like peeing in the woods, tending fires, and pouring boiling water out of you spaghetti pots are just plain silly in flip flops...... SO - the one time we were allowed to wear open toed shoes was for Eucharist services - (the only time we really dress up at camp). Sure, there were lots of girls that wore skirts and dresses into the Chapel on those nights - but the guys almost always wore shorts. It's hot and humid in DE in the summer and the little fans in our outdoor chapel - shew - they don't do much but catch up some of the gnats in their "breeze". And depsite flip flops, shorts, and dusty toes from the walk across camp - we were a good looking bunch. We were dressed in reverence and respect and came together to worship our Creator. Perhaps you had to see us the day before covered in marsh mud, or with soot marks on our face and the lingering scent of camp fire and sweat on us from cooking over an open fire to really appreiciate how nice we looked. But maybe you don't.

I get that shower shoes are usually flip flops or those slide sandals... but not all flip flops and slide sandals are shower shoes. So they aren't one in the same - and that doesn't seem very hard to understand. Of course no one would wear their locker room or summer camp shower shoes to Church. I mean, they're young not stupid.

So, I promise I'm coming to a close. Not one person had anything to say about the girls' attire worn on Youth Sunday. I did hear a small group ALL mention the red plaid boxers of one male student that apparently EVERYONE got to see.... I must have missed it.

We're reading Mike Yaconelli's Messy Spirituality in the small group I lead at church... and Mike tells this story about a youth leader bringing gang members off the streets and somehow effecting their lives - teaching them true discipleship. A flailing arm in a genuinely surprised reaction broke a window and the youth were asked to no longer meet in that room. The youth leader got these gang members to attend a service one Sunday... and had them all sit with her in the balcony as not to cause more problems. One gang member, in much awe and respect, shouted out, "Dude, you're cool!," to the Pastor.... The youth leader was told she needed to teach them how to act inside a church. The gang members were not invited back - and the Youth Leader was ultimitly let go.

Yaconelli compares it to the Pharisees when the blindman is healed by mud made with Jesus' spit. The Pharisess aren't concerned with the blind man - they debate semantics. Jesus was concerned with the man that was once blind - and that's why He healed the man. (John 9)

So I have a new response for the next time ANYONE has anything to say to me about anything any of my kids are wearing - skirts, flip flops, or plaid boxers..... ready for this? It's really nice you noticed that they were in Church last week. If you had to choose, would you say you're you more concerned about their heart and presence here or about their fashion?

Yeah, I'm pretty certain that's exactly what I'll say. Cause finally, I think I've figured out what Jesus would do.

downhere

Okay, so there is this really rad Christian (Canadian) rock band called Downhere...

Back where I lived in 2003 ... We had this big to-do in the park every spring ... And called it Rock in the Park for Jesus. Local bands and dance teams would come in, and then some lesser known national recording artist would close the show.... It was a lot of work to pull off, and a lot of fun.
So Downhere was our closing band. Their song Great Are You was getting lots of airplay on the local Christian Station - it was all good. I was part of the Hospitality Team - so my job was to help with their lunches (fruit salad and zucchini bread) and sort of make sure they had what they needed.... blah blah blah.

The week of Rock in the Park.... I came down with bell's palsey - short of the long of it - half my face was paralyzed. It was really painful and I couldn't move the muscles. Eventually most of the muscle control came back - over the course of like 4 months. As far as sicknesses go - once the steroids kicked in and the swelling went down - it wasn't that bad. My speech was a little slurred, my smile came off MUCH more like a smirk/grimace, and I had to use eyedrops at least once an hour b/c I couldn't blink my one eye. This lead people, (people I didn't know), in public, to talk to me like I was mentally handicapped... Except that I wasn't, so it frustrated me to no end.

So there I am, "helping" with the band at Rock in the Park. My friend Joel had asked me to help the Merch guy at his table to inventory things and pack up. Well, the Merch guy didn't know me or my situation and kept giving me these really short piles of shirts to count.... I assumed at the time it was b/c he didn't know if I was able to be real helpful.... A friend from church came over and was like, "Now baby, tell me what happened?" So I tell her the whole deal - "I woke up a few days ago and my face just didn't work.... It will, eventually... That's all." And I remember the merch guy being like - oh, man.

So then there was actually helping the band load stuff and pack up... and clear as yesterday... Jeremy - the drummer just talked to me like there wasn't anything wrong with my face. And I was SO impressed, and encouraged, and lifted up to FINALLY come across someone that would give me back my dignity. He didn't even ask about it... he just talked TO me.

I emailed to thank him - and he actually responded!! I signed up to be in the band's mailing list.... I went right out to get their second album... then I moved and discontinued the email account I had at my last job... eek!

BUT - last November I was in Atlanta for the National Youth Worker's Convention... and Downhere was playing on a side stage as a late night option.

Jeremy TOTALLY remembered me. And the other guys did too. Marc was like - We've met before haven't we? And I was like, umm, yeah, it was a while ago and I kinda looked different then. He prodded for more information - and said, "I don't remember that. But I remember meeting you." (TOTAL "My Big Fat Greek Wedding Moment.") I can't even begin to describe the joy of that simple pleasure.

Where is this all coming from? Downhere is playing in the Pittsburgh area soon... and I was on their website - which encourages you to check out the blogs of Jeremy and Glenn.... and let's just say I'm a sucker, so I did.

Jeremy's blog is titled Normal Rockstar... and I've gotta say that he is. I think that's what I love MOST about Downhere. They rock - and they rock hard - and yet they are still livin the average Joe lifestyle. Down to earth. Seeking God. Striving to be godly.

I can't wait to see them again!! Maybe I'll even get to take some zucchini bread? ha ha.

I am so random.

the applause of Heaven....

So, yeah, it's my birthday today. I just think of it as being another day older and this day just happens to mark an anniversary.... ha ha. I'm supposed to be getting ready to go out to dinner with my small group from church... and yet, it's too early really, so I'm wasting time on here.....

This morning we had our first WO - Women's Only Bible Study (for youth) before school.... and part of me was thought, "6am on my birthday!!??" And part of me thought, "Wow. If these girls want it that bad I need to be there. What an opportunity."

So - on a whim I decided that we should study Timothy and Titus. And today in all my rushed- I -can't-belive-time-goes-this-fast-THIS-early-in-the-morning fluster... well, let's just say at least we got through 1 Tim 1. Basically, we talked about the hope Paul gives us. If He could be saved and used so greatly by God with his track record.... wow, maybeGod can change me and use me to do things in a mighty way too. Well, not even maybe, He can.

So - yeah - birthday dinnner - I HATE it when people come out and sing for birthdays. Well, not really all birthdays - just mine. It's awkward and if I had panic attacks - I imagine the way I feel when that happens is exactly what a panic attack feels like.

I compare it to the drop of a roller coaster. Some people LOVE it. They thrive and get all pumped on the drops. I however, I like clench my jaw and stop breathing. My entire body tightens up and freezes. I just want it to be over and wonder why I even got on the stupid ride b/c I know I don't like roller coasters.

Why does it effect me like that?
Good Question.

If I really had to think about why - and I really felt like I did today.... I guess it's cuz God changes people.

Before I became a Christian I LOVED being on the stage - Laughter and Applause were my gods. I did Children's Theatre in college (after getting "saved") and well, it seemed different b/c when little kids clap - they do it out of excitement and not knowing what else to really do with themselves - Not to glorify what they are clapping for.

So I think I figured it out. Applause (and I guess birthday singers too...) are like glory. And it just feels really wrong inside me to recieve glory... The Gloria Patri sings, "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost." Not to Teri.

See, God changed me.
And I didn't even realize this part of it til, like, well, a long time after.

Stop Trying

I was checking out Chris Tomlin's website as I usually do.... and I came across a WONDERFUL devotion/writing what-have-you which you can read in its entirety here.

As I was reading about this crazy awesome experience Chris and the band had at the Passion Conference... (the devotion explains the bigger picture of what was goign on).... The article quotes one of Louie Giglio's talks... "Stop trying and Start dying."

Wow.

I've been listening a lot to Rob Bell's sermons from Mars Hill Bible Chapel lately. I download them here. And in one sermon he was talking about how people want to know what programs will his church will offer them. So he answered, "Well, we just have one main program, uhh, die. Yeah, like deny yourself, and take up your cross, and follow Jesus. That's pretty much the program we've been working since day one."

We can try to do all sorts of things in our own power, in our own strength, and in our own will.... but the point is - IT'S NOT ABOUT ME OR WHAT I CAN DO. It's about being more like Jesus - and less like us. John 3:30 tells us, "He must increase, I must decrease." HE MUST increase, YOU MUST decrease.

Stop trying and LET GOD HAVE CONTROL - give it to Him. I mean, it's all HIS anyway. And since HE made it all, don't you know He understands how it all works a lot better??!!?? Aren't you tired of trying to do your own thing and being dissatisfied with the outcome???

yeah?

So, maybe you should stop trying and start dying.

Do this in remembrance...

So, I said in my last entry that I'd get to this in my next, and I already have something else I wanted to write, so I have to write this first.... Go ahead, say that three times fast! Ha!

My Pastor is involved with the planning of this year's community Holocaust Remembrance Service. I think it's actually in May??? But the point is that the service is held in remembrance of the day that Auschwitz captives were freed. They will have age appropriate readers reading letter from inside and outside the camp... Like if a letter was from a 13 year old captive girl - a 13 year old Jewish girl will read it at the service and so on....

And it just hit me in mid conversation with my Pastor as he was saying the committee would really like our youth to greet and hand out bulletins.... that we - I suppose I mean American Culture - don't do things like that to remember.

I mean, you go back to Moses and they are already doing this and that in remembrance - retelling the stories over an over so that all will know just where they came from. At Pesach (Passover) the Seder dinner is the epitome of experiential learning.... I mean.... they read the story and you taste things to remind you of the mortar of the bricks of slavery, to remind you of the many tears they shed....

And I realize that every time we take communion the Pastor quotes Jesus as saying, "Do this in remembrance of me." But I don't REALLY think about it all the time. Like, I'm usually in repentance.... and I say thank you a lot - I think a lot about the last supper.... and what that would have been like to recline and dine with the Son of God. I don't think so much about the torture. I don't think so much about the earthquake, the darkness, the despair...

Maybe it's the grape juice, or the way we wait until EVERYONE has bread in hand to take it together in our church.... or the way we let kids take it b/c we wouldn't want them to feel bad.... I don't know.... but I don't feel like we always do it in remembrance. Sometimes I feel like we take communion b/c it's the first Sunday of the month and that's just what you do.

Then you walk into your local synagogue and every year they celebrate the Passover remembering how God spared them in Egypt and delivered them from slavery..... Does it become empty for the average Jew? Do they go through the motions? Is it more special b/c it's only once a year?

I would definitely think that Communion might be more "special" were it once a year - but man! What if you missed that week??!! That would be horrible.

Some of the most meaningful communions/Eucharists I have ever been a part of have been....
1) When I went to Australia on Campus Crusade summer project we were staying in a hotel across the street from this quaint little park with an amphitheatre style stage. We sat on the stage in a circle and sang together. Then we spread out all over the seats of the amphitheatre and prayed. If there was anyone we needed to reconcile with we were to go seek them out and do our business.... THEN we all came back down to the little stage and took communion together. It was SO powerful to take it together - it was reconciling us as a team, there together, to do God's work.

2) Sometimes I got to help serve Communion at the Methodist Church I used to work at. If no "lay leaders" were there - the Pastor would be like, I'm gonna need your help. I would get to serve the bread... and my Dad came up for communion. And all these people I had come to know and love during my ministry there. Something about being able to look at your father's face (not able to make eye contact, but his face) and saying, "Dad, this is the body of Christ, shed for you." That was very cool.

3) There were some weeks I got to serve wine at Camp Arrowhead - to staff and campers I had built such a relationship and rapport with - there's something very humbling about helping guide the cup for someone to sip from it. "The blood of Christ, The cup of salvation."

4) During a trip to London, and only b/c I was snowed out of flying back to America, I had the time to go to a Eucharist Service at Westminster Abbey. Anyone can - you just have to be there at the correct time and be able to find the right place! In the middle of the service they encouraged everyone to say the Lord's prayer in their native tongue. It was so overwhelming. Of course I cried. Go figure. But I didn't just cry - I wept at the thought. God's truth is universal - in Zambia, in China, in Russia, in England, in Mexico - we all spoke out in different languages and yet said the very same thing. It was one of the most beautiful noises I ever heard. It made me feel a part of something SO MUCH larger than me, or my church. And it was amazing.

5) And at the National Youth Workers' Convention one year, we took communion on the last day in small circles of people that were sitting around us. We would hold it for and serve the person next to us. It was so intimate - even with strangers.

Yet, not in a single one of those experiences did remembering Jesus' sacrifice make it the most moving/meaningful. Why is that? In such a disposable world, has the rich and glorious inheritance of the saints before me been disposed? (Who knew I was nerdy enough to write that?!?!)

Yeah, so I was thinking about that.... ha ha ha.

Wages of Sin

So, when I think back to my Campus Crusade days, sharing the 4 spiritual laws here and there and everywhere.... It went a little something like this.... italics are my explanations :o)

1) God loves you and wants to have a personal relationship with you.

2) "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" - Romans 3:23
a/k/a - Nobody's perfect. Are we trekin'? And "the wages of sin is death" - Romans 6:23 -
This means, in our admitted imperfection we are unable to have a relationship with God and deserve eternal separation... We have earned it.

3) "For God so loved the world, he gave his only son, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16 Nothing we do can reconcile us to God - we have earned death - Jesus, God's own son, took our place on the cross. Died, was buried, and three days later rose from the dead. He was our atonement, he took our place.

4) "If we confess our sins, He who is faithful and just, will forgive us our sins, and cleanse us of all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9 Confessing your sinfulness and that you believe Jesus died for you on the cross assures your salvation and reconciles you to God... blah blah blah. If you want the real deal visit here.

Yeah.

So Sunday in Church, Pastor Don refers to some passage in Romans 6 - and I read the rest of Romans 6:23. The verse doesn't say - For the wages of sin is death (period) It actually says "For the wages of sin is death (comma), BUT the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." I always made it be a stearn kind of mean verse of conviction. But really, the part after the but is so much more important.

In college a friend asked me if my faith is Empty Tomb dependent. Uh, Heck yeah.
I mean, The Passion of the Christ was an amazing film. It reminds us (I'll get back to those words specifically in my next entry) of exactly what Christ endured. It wasn't all warm and fuzzy like we make it out to be sometimes.... And Christ's death is important. BUT his resurrection is what seals the deal for me. Christ did die a horrific death for each of us BUT three days later he AROSE FROM THE TOMB!!! I realize it was just me - but at the end of The Passion, sad as it was in its entirety - when they showed the garments rise with breath and Jesus stood up and you could see the hole in his hand and he walked out of the tomb - I wanted to stand up and cheer. "YEAH! That's MY Jesus! Get a load of MY SAVIOR!"

So, as it is now past midnight - and it is officially Ash Wednesday - that's what I'm thinking about to start off my Lenten season. The wages of sin IS death, BUT the free gift of God is eternal life in Jesus. Not all that original, but, umm, it is what I've been thinking about.

Relevant

What is it about "keeping up with the Joneses?" I mean, why is it such a strong motivation. You'd think I wouldn't want things just b/c other people have them anymore - and yet here I am writing my first "blog" b/c b/c I found out someone else I know has one. I guess we'll just have to see how long I actually keep up with it....

So, I was checking out the latest copy of Relevant Magazine, and John Fischer has contributed an article about a slam poet in Chicago.... a world and culture I know absolutely nothing about. Okay - well, maybe not nothing.... I have seen slam poets read before - just not in competition - which, I guess by definition means I have only seen poets that have been in slam competitions.... ANYWAY - the article caught my eye and got the rusty wheels a-turning.

He writes...
"... The poet reveals his own search for meaning in life as he left what was comfortable for a life on the streets. In a long litany of drugs and desperation, he chronicles how he tried every bad thing he could think of to do, as if bad behavior would somehow make him alive. At each new low, he concludes, 'It wasn't enough....

My life became a living hell
As I made the whole... world suck
But it wasn't enough

Because I am still waiting for Isaac
Because I am still waiting for laughter
For a progeny
That will live on
When I don't

I am still waiting for Isaac
For a re-birth of wonder
And for the intervening hand of a god
I never believed in the first place'

Waiting for a God he never believed in to intervene. Waiting for wonder. waiting for something meaningful enough to leave a legacy.... Isn't it poignant that as human beings ... we always seem to end up with God - or god - however we say it, even if we don't necessarily believe in Him? The created bear the mark of the Creator. Deny Him, and the mark is still there. It's an indelible image; it will not go away.

So how will [the poet] attempt to answer these questions? Can he? Maybe, maybe not, but he wile go home to write poems - poems about his own struggle with religion and faith and Jesus.... He will enter the poetry arena and compete on a level he has never been before, because he loves these people and has a message for them, but he will abide by their rules... They love him for his guts. They love him for his honesty and audacity to throw himself amd his faith into the mix. The love him because he makes the effort to speak in their own language instead of insisting they listen to his."

So I've been chewing on that for a day or so.

Nelson Mandela said, "If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart."

This poet in the article is a Paul to a people group that would never hear anything I have to say - about Christ, about life, about the color of the sky even! He listens to them - and in turn they listen to him and are moved b/c he doesn't just speak in language they understand - but in their venacular. (I can not believe I just used that word.)

And the other day, as I was on my way to Punxsutawney PA for the most contrived holiday ever (that's another entry for another day) - I was talking to a friend about the challenge of being a Youth Leader. And as we ranted about a group of colleagues.... She turned and asked.... How do you act or BE cool so your youth will be engaged while demonstrating you don't have to be what the world sees as cool? What a scary questions. And what an undaunting task. Undaunting and yet it is still the job of anyone who wants to engage anyone in anything.

Of course I connected the conversation with the article - whether or not they really do connect.... and this is what I conclude at this moment. (I say this moment b/c it could change between me writing this and you reading it....)

How do you speak the heart language of the cool and uncool to present the Gospel in a relevant manner? I think it's not a matter of being cool. I'm not cool. I never was or ever will be "cool."

But I can be ME. I can be real. And I can be authentic.

Maybe in that authenticity - I will be able to speak to the authentic hearts of a generation ready to stand up and change the world they live in. If I admit my insecurities, and doubts, and personal brokenness, perhaps I can speak to those parts of them. Perhaps. Well, it's certainly my prayer.

That's all I got for today.