Just breathe.

"...'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands And breathe... just breathe, ...... There's a light at each end of this tunnel, You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around." ~ Anna Nalik

Yeah, so I realize that song's not exactly new.... but neither is the whole idea I'm about to share... lol.

Last May, I downloaded this sermon from Mars Hill Bible Chapel about the Theology of breathing. It grabbed me so quickly that I saved it on my computer and have been coming back to it a lot. This summer I used it to help lead devos at workcamp one night... I had a panic attack this summer, and ended up puking b/c I couldn't breathe... At a training last month we talked about keeping centered as not to get the wind knocked out of us... So when may Pastor asked me 2 weeks ago if God had been speaking to me about anything I'd want to share at the service today - I was thinking, yes. Yes he has.

The short of the long of it... Genesis gives us 2 accounts for how we got here. Genesis 1 is a poem with a rhythm to it... it was good... it was good... it was good. Genesis 2 is more of a narrative story (guess that's redundant - ha ha) . And it tells us that on the 7th day, God formed man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. (one of the coolest things in the Bible EVER!!) A paradox was understood at the very core of what it is to be human. We are of dirt... easy-to-crumble creatures.... and yet we are filled with the very breath of GOD. We are SO fragile, and yet there is something so holy about the very act of breathing.

The word for breath - ruach in Hebrew and pneuma in Greek is used like 380 times each respectively in the Old and New Testaments!! However the same word(s) were used for Spirit. It was like "S"part and "s"spirit... and it was a common belief that God dwelled within people . And it was understood that not only was breath important for life - but also that a connection with God was important to have any sort of life at all... the people that believed this and that God dwelled withtin them came to be referred to as temples (your body is a temple.... sound familiar?)

Rob Bell goes on to talk about how much we breathe, and how we tend to take the super shallow breaths while we run around to keep up with the fast pace of life. The human body can take 4-6 breaths per minute - but we tend to take in 16-20??!! That's nuts. So at 16 breaths per minute, 60 minutes per hour, 24 hours in a day - that's 26,000 times each day we should be reminded that God is in us. And if he is that close, if we need him for every breath, if every breath comes from Him and is of Him... there seems to be a HUGE problem when people say things like, "I don't need God to live." So Rob encourages his congregation to breathe out all the crap that is in their lives weighing them down and stressing them out - and breathing in more of God. Breathing in His truth, mercy, grace, beauty - whatever we need to get through our day.

Super cool.

SOoooo... yeah, that's pretty much what I knew I was going to share... and as soon as I listened to his message one more time and typed out my notes I had this HUGE peace about it and felt no immediate pressure to rehearse it or anything... and all sorts of things started hitting the fan. It was like test after test to see if I really believed in what I was about to share.

Monday a student calls - totally freaking out - crying even - because she can't reconcile the evolution stuff in her textbook with the Genesis story of creation - and her Biology book is really persuasive. I'm thinking - just breathe. Calm down and just breathe. So we look at Genesis - and hey - i was just here for my sermon notes. hmmm.

Tuesday, I haven't been able to finish working out the fall/winter/spring calendar for Confirmation Class that is begining in a month... and there I am holding a summer calendar in hand not able to fathom what week to run Vacation Bible School or go to workcamp. DUDE - we're talking 9 months away. Just breathe.

Wednesday a fellow youth worker gets on AIM - they've been wounded and betrayed by students they love. They were heart broken. We talk and calm down... and just breathe. I remind my friend that there is a lot of stuff we will never comprehend or control. We can't control the way people feel about us or things they might say about who we are - but we can control who we are and what we do. We can control how we will respond to those people. We can decide if anger will get the best of us. We can control who has the power to make angry.

Thursday a student I'm pretty close to in my ministry gets some old battle wounds dredged up... and while the "scar" might appear healed - it still weeps a little when it's picked at. And it sucks to watch the student hurt and not be able to do anything about it.

Friday nothing goes as planned. I'm supposed to meet some MLB players at a meeting. They had a rainout and now a double header - and can't make the meeting. I sigh, but it's okay. An away high school football game gets postponed for inclement weather - and we drove an hour to be there. I don't get the hangout time with people from my church - or to finally see my kids on the team or in the band. grrr. BUT - I breathe and laugh a little - and it's okay.

Saturday at the rescheduled game I can't attend from the night prior - a student gets injured and rushed to the hospital. Turns out he's alright - just some bruised ribs. But geez - that's scary. And I'm worried... but I breathe out deeply and know that he is in God's care. And all day I am SO TIRED I just can't concentrate on anything - too bad I was supposed to be working on my sermon, studying the lesson for Sunday School, AND figuring out Youth Group....


Crazy week, eh?

The coolest part was - as it appears I was passing. I think recognizing you're even being tested is a huge part of the success... but yeah, as it appears that I'm passing... I get a random call in the office Friday afternoon. I'm expecting and semi important call - and the Church Secretary believes that this might be my call pretending to be someone else... ha ha ha. I have NO CLUE who it is when I pick up.

It ends up being a friend from college that I haven't seen or spoken to in FOUR or FIVE years! The last time I saw him was at his Coast Guard graduation ceremony - and then once he graduated I didn't have his new address and lost all contact. BUT I had written him all through his training in Cape May.

He's been teaching up in his hometown in Massachusetts - and going to this church. He knew he was ready t get more serious about his faith - but didn't really understand where to even begin. August 11th - he accepts Christ and gets saved. WOW! Last week he finds all the letters I wrote him while he was in Basic Training... all the God stuff I wrote to encourage him, and he decides he needs to tell me about what God's done in his life.

He google searches me and finds my church's website and calls me in the office??!!!

crazy short side note: August 11th I was driving back to Delaware to visit my old camp in Lewes - where the Cape May - Lewes Ferry is. And of course when I saw the signs he came to mind. I wondered where he was and what he was up to. God is so funny like that. So funny.

God is so good. He picks us up with the smallest of things when He knows we need it. And He is SO faithful to answer our prayers and to bless our faithfulness to him.

Back to Anna's song... we're not promised a certain number of days or breaths... but God already knows. The idea is to keep breathing out the crap and breathing in more of Him... and when we realize there's something wrong that we keep repeating - to breathe that out to Him too, and ask him to breathe into us the strength to turn - to change - to stop - to eliminate the need for that behavior. He is all the we have that we can count on while we're here. He's all we can count on for our very breath - all we can count on to be with us. He's as close as my next breath. He gave me my first, and he certainly already knows about my last. But while I'm still here - I want to be about the business of breathing out everything that keeps me from Him, and breathing in more of who He is.

And now, I'll take a d e e p s i g h.